Welcome
What you read here are true, first-hand accounts of life inside an alternative religious group. What we went through may seem incredible to you. But keep in mind, we were normal, every-day people. Just like you. And we never thought it would happen to us, either.
An ex-member of the Strong City cult contacted me:
Dear Post-cult-compadre,
I'm impressed with your website. Thank you for taking the time to maintain it. I realize how much effort and time that it takes to keep meaningful and useful things online, in a manner that is easily accessible.
Being a Strong City escapee, your notes and those of the contributors on your site have special significance. The insights you all share are very helpful. They reflect experiences/thoughts/processes that are similar to my experience, and no doubt the experience of other former cult members, in general. This is extremely useful, for readers as well as posters, as we all work out the kinks that we worked into our lives. And I appreciate Dr. Datanah's remarks very much.
If you are interested, please take a look at a blog I have posted for keeping up with the Strong City version of the cultype. They are going through a particularly difficult time right now (kind of like what they have been going through constantly for a long time, only now the State is involved).
I was so impressed with your "Fortune Cookie For Angelo" that I'm using it on my personal page. Hope that's okay...Those quotes are right on the money...
Thank you so much for the email. A number of readers of this site have been deeply moved with compassion for those involved with the Strong City group since first reading about it. So few people can really understand what being in such a group is like (without experiencing it for themselves) or the trauma and healing that can result from choosing to leave. I'm glad to find out that this site might have helped in some way.
Also, it tickles me to death that you like the Fortune Cookies. One day someone was talking with me about the fortune cookies that Angelo used to give people at holiday functions (like Thanksgiving and Christmas.) And the idea of adding that fortune cookie to the site started as a way of poking fun at that in a playful way... but then, once I found the Lazarus Long and Solomon Short quotes, I really got into it for its own sake.
I've also taken this opportunity to update some of the external links in Elsewhere on the web to include the Strong City links.
View all posts mentioning Strong City.
A few days ago I got another reminder of how your views and perspective are more dependent on where you are now, than any sort of universal truth. Several of us were setting up some flower arrangements around a tree and each person was standing in a different position so we all saw "center" as a different place. It was outside and the goal was to have the arrangements placed so that the oak tree was centered between them, but all of us had a different idea of where the audience was going to sit, so we all saw "center" as relative to where we were standing - so it was different for each of us. And actually all of us ended up being "wrong" in the end. That may be hard to follow. Perhaps an easier way to explain this is to post this image:
Sitting close to your monitor, you see Mr Angry on the left and Mrs Calm on the right. Now, get up from your chair and back up 10 feet or so. Watch them switch positions. That's what I mean. What you see, depends on where you are looking from. That's why arguing about truth is so futile. You can be absolutely sure of what you are seeing, but the other person is looking from a different position and sees a different truth. Each may be "true" but the difference in perspective makes them seem different. And most people have a hard time believing that multiple opposing views can be true at one time.
Adyashanti actually addresses this in an interesting way:
There is a very famous poem written by the third patriarch of Zen, Seng-tsan, called the Hsin-Hsin Ming, which translates as Verses in Faith Mind. In this poem Seng-tsan writes these lines: "Do not seek the truth; only cease to cherish opinions." This is a reversal of the way most people go about trying to realize absolute truth. Most people seek truth, but Seng-tsan is saying not to seek truth. This sounds very strange indeed. How will you find truth if you don't seek it? How will you find happiness if you do not seek it? How will you find God if you do not seek God? Everyone seems to be seeking something. In spirituality seeking is highly honored and respected, and here comes Seng-tsan saying not to seek.
The reason Seng-tsan is saying not to seek is because truth, or reality, is not something objective. Truth is not something "out there." It is not something you will find as an object of perception or as a temporal experience. Reality is neither inside of you nor outside of you. Both "outside" and "inside" are not getting to the point. They both miss the mark because outside and inside are conceptual constructs with no inherent reality. They are simply abstract points of reference. Even words like "you," or "me," or "I," are nothing more than conceptual points of reference existing only in the mind. Such concepts may have a practical value in daily life, but when assumed to be true they distort perception and create a virtual reality, or what in the East is called the world of samsara.
Seng-tsan was a wily old Zen master. He viewed things through the eye of enlightenment and was intimately aware of how the conditioned mind fools itself into false pursuits and blind alleys. He knew that seeking truth, or reality, is as silly as a dog thinking that it must chase its tail in order to attain its tail. The dog already has full possession of its tail from the very beginning. Besides, once the dog grasps his tail, he will have to let go of it in order to function. So even if you were to find the truth through grasping, you will have to let it go at some point in order to function. But even so, any truth that is attained through grasping is not the real truth because such a truth would be an object and therefore not real to begin with.
He has more to say about it so follow the link to read it if you are interested...
In response to
my last post about the
Strong City Cult (or, as they name themselves, the Lord Our Righteousness Church) and their leader,
Michael Travesser, several people told me that watching the
Strong City video that I linked to reminded them of our Buddha Field and Angelo. Seiva sent me an email after watching the video that I think expresses it well:
Well. that really creeped me out!!! The Strong City Cult video was disturbing on so many levels. The overall vibe of it was, well, depressing and made me throw up a little in my mouth. I felt dirty all day after watching it- it reminded me of Angelo and some of the members of the BF- not all, but enough of them, myself included in certain aspects. YYYUUUUKKKKKKKKK!!
Not only was so much of it hauntingly familiar-the required zombie behavior to slavishly adore the leader, to the Leader being an eccentric control freak and the only source of affection and love, estranging members from loved ones and friends, reinforcing that self righteous 'holier- than- thou' attitude, isolating the members from society with all its various perspectives (healthy and unhealthy is often a matter of opinion.) that could give a member support to have their own"voice"- it was awful to see others being so grossly manipulated, as I now felt we were by Angelo.
And excuse me- God told him to sleep with his son's wife???? Oh! that sounds just like Angelo - "Having sex with the Master is the highest....." or" Never say no to the Master" Anyone with even the least bit of perception could see the son was torn up about it but could not really see his way clear to deal with it. How many of my brothers were subjected to this gross type of BS and how many sisters (or brothers) had their boyfriends or lovers destroyed or damaged by this- even if it were only one, that would be too many, but as we know now it was way more than that.
It definitely was an encapsulated example of everything exposed and addressed so far by your site.
Of course for the vast majority of us, it is the time for healing and moving on, being thankful for whatever growth occurred inside and setting our focus on rebuilding our lives. Easier for some than others but everyone has been through a huge transition, death if you will, and I send my love and support to each and every one of them. I love and respect most of the people who used to be in the Buddha field and hope everyone is doing well.
I have been surprised that I don't miss Angelo at all- hardly even ever think about him, only when I check in to read this site. But I often am reminded of my hearts' friends and how much I love and miss them.
It is my experience that each life has many incarnations within its span- I have already been through several- this has been the hardest but also the richest in lessons learned.
Moving away from Austin and starting this chapter of my life has been challenging and much more difficult than I expected it would be, but that is OK. I am continually delighted by what the universe presents me with, even the unpleasant difficult situations. Lots of opportunity to see who "I" really am, since no one knows me here to define or limit me. Having no "group mind" to check in with for approval or
even advice leaves much to be explored. It can either feel un-grounding or liberating. I choose liberating. And relying on that still place of inner peace to be my guide rather than someone or something on the outside- it is "good stuff". I can honestly say I choose to accept my time in the Buddha field as part of what makes me who I am now- I would not want to do it again in this life but I don't want to be bitter and distrustful the rest of my life . I am learning to exercise personal boundaries though- very important!!
It will be interesting to see what happens with other ex-members and what they end up doing with their next chapter.
I know that reminders like this can be disturbing, but I also know that once you're ready for that bucket of cold water to get thrown in your face, it can be very liberating to be reminded of what you have walked away from. Especially in something like this where you can take a look at our group, by looking at "yourself" in a different setting.
As an aside: Am I the only one that sees "LOR Church" and reads it as Lord of the Rings church?
View all posts mentioning Strong City.
I found this article about a show on the National Geographic channel called "Inside a Cult" which looks to be part of a series called Inside. The description of the episode is:
Doomsday cult leader Michael Travesser prophesied that the world would end October 31, 2007 -- but what happened? Go inside Travesser's cult to meet its leader, its followers and the dynamics that shape cult behavior.
Unfortunately, it was on last night so we missed the premiere. But it looks like it repeats next Wednesday afternoon (Unbelievable how difficult they made finding that information on the National Geographic site. They need to rethink their schedule design for functionality.)
There were a couple of comments from Louis Marlowe's article about the show that were familiar:
- There is nothing creepier than the smugness of the true believer.
- With cults, it's always us and them.... To question authority is to damn the divine.
- Everything outside the community is suspect; only the spiritual leader can provide absolute truth.
I'm going to set my DVR to record this show. They only had 56 members in THEIR cult (and that wasn't meant to be "Ha! Fledgling, wanna-be, pretender cult!" I just find it interesting when people are able to use a small group of people in a unique situation to gain insight into much larger, more all-encompassing issues. )
To get the group's take (since we are about first-hand experiences here), you can visit their website.
Update: I found this video on Google Videos. No idea where it came from but it was posted on Jan. 3, 2008 so I don't think it's the National Geographic program. It looks like a documentary that was filmed by someone that found their way into the Strong City cult. Looks like they are a much more public cult than we were ('are' for those still in the group.)
Oh Good Lord. He even has the raised chair with "devotees at his feet" thing going on:
Of course, they aren't as "beautiful." And we would never have been allowed to go so gray, or dress so blah, and beards were discouraged... and where are their tans? It's obvious they are nowhere near as spiritual as we were. Seriously though, this image does make me want to watch that show more.
View all posts mentioning Strong City.
Well, it looks like Oprah is on the receiving end of "alternative religion" (ie. cult) bashing too. It's funny because I watch this video and wonder how anyone can possibly object to what she says. That scene where the audience starts yelling at her about Jesus being the only way is very telling. Sad, and telling. From an ex-cult member... it's obvious which ones are in the cult-mind.
I guess cults with live masters ARE better than cults with dead masters. Because you have a chance of seeing that they are full of crap.
The interview with Jason Beghe (ex-Scientologist) that I posted earlier was removed. I figured Scientology would not be thrilled but didn't know what they could do until I read this article.
Hopefully, if you were interested in watching the video you already watched it because I don't know how long it will be until it is uploaded again (if ever).
Update: I found the website of the guy that did the interview. Looks like he has the full interview posted there.
A friend sent me a link to this lecture on ted.com:
Neuroanatomist Jill Bolte Taylor had an opportunity few brain scientists would wish for: One morning, she realized she was having a massive stroke. As it happened -- as she felt her brain functions slip away one by one, speech, movement, understanding -- she studied and remembered every moment. This is a powerful story of recovery and awareness -- of how our brains define us and connect us to the world and to one another. (Recorded February 2008 in Monterey, California. Duration: 18:44.)
Basically, one side of her brain exploded and she found Nirvana within that experience. (Without a master or anything.) The experience she describes matches what some of us found through meditation... so I guess there is a biochemical reason for what we experienced. So I could relate to her experience of Nirvana... and walking around with only half a brain. But her speech is worth listening to. Hope you enjoy it.
This is an interesting video on YouTube. It's a 'teaser' interview with Jason Beghe - the first celebrity that has been a "Clear" in Scientology that has come out talking about his experiences. Jason has a long list of acting credits, but he's one of those actors that you kind of recognize but don't know from where. This video is a teaser trailer for an upcoming interview that will soon be released.
He talks about Scientology as "destructive and a rip off." And how the higher up you go on their ladder, the more screwed up you become (definitely making allusions to Tom Cruise's manic OT8-ness.) I can tell I'm going to enjoy this interview when it's released. (If Scientology doesn't squash YouTube before then.)
As a side note: When I started these interviews, it was suggested that I film them (similar to this.) Can you imagine? Admittedly, watching a video is much more engaging than wading through all the info on this website. I'm well aware this is a lot to struggle through. But the point wasn't to create little digestible sound bites. It was simply to make people's first-hand experiences available to those with an interest in seeing everything without the 'kool aid goggles.'
With the polygamist group from Texas in the news these days, the age-old debate about whether something is a "sect" or a "cult" rears its head again. Several highlights from the article:
"In a healthy or legitimate religion or sect, you are presumably worshiping some higher principle or some higher authority," Lalich said, "whereas in a cult people tend to end up worshiping that living human leader. She added, "Your salvation is tied up with that particular living leader, and obeying orders and not breaking the rules, and subjecting yourself to whatever personal transformation you're expected to go through to be on that correct path to salvation." Once they become members of a cult, individuals become more and more isolated from society and from reality-checks found in a diverse world. "You take on new reality, this new interpretation of the world," Lalich said. "It doesn’t mean you have to live in a compound in the middle of Texas. But you've closed your world view. Everything you're interpreting, you're interpreting through the cultic belief system."
"A lot of these groups operate on fear. You're afraid of whatever punishment you might get from the group," Lalich said. "But more so, you're afraid that you're going to be missing out on that path to salvation, whatever that salvation might be."
By now I think it's pretty clear we were (they are) a cult. Not to dismiss the beautiful things that we might have gotten out of the experience... but it seems clear that it was a cult.
A friend sent me these snippets from a couple of articles that quote the Dalai Lama and his stance on teachers and the standards against which they should be measured. And how to handle a teacher that abuses their power.
The following quotes are from the article "Toward A New Spiritual Ethic," by Kate Wheeler; March/April 1994 edition of Nexus.
"At a symposium with 22 Western Buddhist teachers, the Dalai Lama had strong words for teachers who abuse their power—and students who give theirs away."
"A teacher who behaves unethically or asks students to do so can be judged as lacking in ultimate insight, His Holiness said. ‘As far as my own understanding goes, the two claims—that you are not subject to precepts and you are free—these are the result of incorrect understanding.’ No behavior is free from consequences. For this reason, true wisdom always includes compassion, the understanding that all things and beings are interconnected with (and vulnerable to) each other."
"’Even though one’s realization may be higher than the high beings,’ His Holiness said, ‘one’s behavior should conform to the human way of life.’"
"When teachers break the precepts, behaving in ways that are clearly damaging to themselves and others, students must face the situation, even though this can be challenging. ‘Criticize openly,’ His Holiness declared. ‘That’s the only way.’ If there is incontrovertible evidence of wrongdoing, teachers should be confronted with it. They should be allowed to admit their wrongs, make amends, and undergo a rehabilitation process. If a teacher won’t respond, students should publish the situation in a newspaper, not omitting the teacher’s name," His Holiness said. "The fact that the teacher may have done many other good things should not keep us silent."
The following quote is from the article "Small ‘cottage cults’ drawing more converts in United States," by Richard Read in the Oregonian, Sunday, July 15, 2001:
"The Dalai Lama, the high lama of Tibetan Buddhism, advises potential converts to check a guru's qualifications carefully and to view a teacher as a spiritual brother or sister. ‘The best thing is,’ the Dalai Lama said in an interview last February, ‘whenever exploitation, sexual abuse or money abuse happens, make them public.’"
Thanks for sending these to me. It's interesting to me because he can also be viewed as a 'teacher' so, in essence, he is saying to hold him to the standards of "the human way of life" also. I don't really know anything about this guy, but that's a good sign!
