What is a Transpersonal Psychotherapist?
Because I know the spiritual as inseparable from the material, to differentiate between spiritual counseling and psychotherapy seems to create a division where none really exists. I understand that clients might not realize that they are doing spiritual work when they come for psychotherapy, or vice versa, and there might never be a need to define the work with them in those terms, however, I see the work as a psycho- spiritual continuum.
In his poem Tianamen, the poet David Whyte talks of “….loneliness, And how it works at the edge of all experience.” In his poem Dissolver of Sugar, Rumi says, “ Love moves away. The light changes. I need more grace than I thought.” Both these poets express the profound pain that lies at the root of human experience. It is from the experience of this loneliness and this longing that the soul seeks solace.
The therapeutic relationship has tremendous transformative power, and the success and validity of the relationship depends on the quality of presence that is brought into the relationship. There is a sense that in the presence of an aware therapist, a person becomes more fully who they really are. The ego lives in a samsaric mind of constriction, limitation, inflation and pain, but our souls, crave the freedom of the awakened mind. A therapist who is operating from a deep, loving place, from the essence of who they truly are, enables a glimpse of freedom to the client. In fact, it is the unconditional positive regard, and the love that it engenders, that triggers the unfolding and healing of the psycho-spiritual journey.
The characteristics of that love are openness and warmth. These are important as the client undergoes the onslaught to the ego that is the work of the psycho-spiritual journey. Initially, during therapy, the neurosis of the ego is heightened. This manifestation is important because in order to be purified, the ego needs to be seen. It is through the unconditional loving of the therapist, that the client can be truly seen. The places that are closed to love, and those that crave it, are brought to light. The defenses that arose due to early wounding are explored. And the therapeutic relationship provides recompense for the inadequacies of the primary relationships with early caregivers. As this neurosis is allowed to come to light, and hopefully be released, there is what the Tibetan Buddhist teacher Chogyum Trungpa called, “co-emergent wisdom”. The soul needs unconditional love in order to unfold. The therapeutic relationship allows the ego to soften because of the possibility of openness.
The relationship between therapist and client is an important crucible of learning. It should be one of mutual recognition and equity that also embodies the qualities of respect, honesty, vulnerability, curiosity, openness and trust. These allow the intimacy of the relationship to foster the best possible growth. The therapeutic relationship is the transpersonal ‘between’ that is created when two people come together in a way that allows them both to go beyond perception, projections and transference.
As I mentioned earlier, I see therapeutic work as a psycho-spiritual continuum, and it is very important that there is a healthy ego structure that can support the deconstruction of the false ego self without further defensive splitting taking place. When a client wants to work on their spiritual selves, its is imperative that a therapist recognize the need for the developmental work of ego strengthening in order to be able to integrate spiritual teachings into their lives in a practical way. The old cliché, ‘you need to have an ego to lose an ego’, has a lot of wisdom to it. When a person does not have the inner strength of a well-grounded psyche, and embarks on spiritual work, there is a tendency towards spiritual bypassing.
When clients come to my office in order to work through their problems, I see, at the basis of their anguish, a sense that they do not know who they are. It is this most profound ignorance that affects the way they engage the world, and their terror and pain is immense as a result. I have had clients who have come to me with a wide spectrum of issues, with manifestations of psychosis as well as neurosis as well as issues that they define as being ‘spiritual’. I see that the basis of whatever they are manifesting and the feeling is that they are lost and they want to find themselves. They want to relate to their lives from a position of strength and of knowing.
From the Advaita Vedantic position, when we are ignorant of our true nature, our true Self, we identify with our ego, live in a state of fear, and we suffer from anger, greed, hatred and the miseries that arise as we project our fears onto the world and onto others. We become reactive to situations in our lives because we feel that they do not provide us with the sense of well being we crave. We expect to be made to feel whole from external circumstances because we do not realize that our state of wellbeing resides within. We are out of touch with our true nature that is in fact boundless and whole. The reason of course is that the identification in those moments is not with the essence of Self, but with something external. There is identification with changing concepts, thoughts, feelings, conditioned by time and space, and consequently, there is suffering.
My position as a psycho-spiritual therapist/counselor is to hold my clients in an honoring place. I know that my deep trust and love of the play of life with all its multifaceted rich dynamics has a profound effect on my clients. Knowing myself as I do, I have deep empathic resonance with my clients and I have always been able to hold them in a place of love, even if I could not always condone what has sometimes been some pretty heinous behavior. It’s interesting to be with someone who, out of the pain of disconnection manifests aberrant behavior, and to be able to mirror back to him or her, the essence of who I know they really are. The work we do together invites them to realize this as much as possible. My modus operandi is to allow my clients the space to explore the depths of the pain of their issues. Once they have elaborated those issues and framed them in a way that can be integrated into a larger perspective in their lives, when appropriate, I invite them to meet themselves in the light of the Self. Sometimes this takes the form of mirroring, sometimes a deeper exploration of their containing myths and their concepts of who they are in a spiritual sense. My experience is that my clients crave this type of exploration. The sense of deepest disconnect is the most painful of experiences, and the exploration of the Self, the most joyous and freeing. Therefore, there are times when I will actively invite an exploration of the Self, if a client seems to be ready and willing to engage in this type of exploration.
My understanding of the Divine, that I know to be in every Being at every moment, allows me to be profoundly present to my clients. It feels natural to me to mirror the beauty and creativity of my clients. As I honor their Beings, and honor their struggles, they can come to know their worth, and to open up to their depths. It is from this empowered place that they will be able to know themselves, and embrace their lives. This then, is the psycho-spiritual work, by whatever name one calls it.
Ideally, it sounds like what cleansing was supposed to be. Except, you know.. without the nudity and porn.
