Ivan on The 6 Human Needs
Over the last year and a half I’ve talked with a number of people about my experience in the “Buddha Field.” People who were not members almost always ask “How could you have been a part of that group?” Even people who were in the group have asked “Why did I let myself be a part of that?”
Intelligence, experience, age, upbringing, life circumstance, and beliefs are only some of the variables that could influence one’s choices. However, the simple answer to this question is that the “Buddha Field” experience met our needs.
We all have different desires, but they are driven by the exact same human needs. When people achieve a goal only to ask “Is this all there is?” it is because they never analyzed their true needs or how to meet them. Understanding the Six Human Needs can not only help you find out what drives you, but also to be truly fulfilled on a consistent basis.
It is easy to look back on an experience with a new awareness and see what was “wrong.” Rather than do that, I think it may be useful to look at the Buddha Field through the filter of how it met our needs. Doing so may give you some perspective that can be helpful with healing, letting go, or forgiving.
Every need has vehicles (or strategies) for how they are met. These vehicles can be empowering to our lives, or they may be fulfilling for the moment but in the long run are quite destructive. The vehicles you select will determine not only your fulfillment in the moment, but also your long-term fulfillment and whether you will truly grow and contribute in a significant way
There are several human needs models, including those used by Maslow, Jung, and more recently, Marshall Rosenberg, author of the Nonviolent Communication programs. Another recent model comes from Anthony Robbins. Robbins identifies six human needs, grouped into two categories: the “Four Fundemental Needs,” and the “Two Primary and Essential Needs.” He says that all of these needs must be met for us to experience ultimate fulfillment.
Fundamental Needs:
1. Certainty/Comfort
2. Uncertainty/Variety
3. Significance
4. Connection/Love
Primary and Essential Needs
5. Growth
6. Contribution
You can rate, from zero to ten, how much a particular need is being met, where zero is “not at all” and ten is “completely.” If you think about anything that you really enjoy doing, it will not only meet all of your needs, but it will also meet them at a high level, usually a six, seven, or higher.
If there is something that you do not like to do, it is either not meeting all of your needs, or it is meeting them at a very low level (ones, twos, or threes).
These six needs can be further distinguished as follows:
1. Certainty/Comfort
2. Uncertainty/Variety
3. Significance
4. Connection/Love
5. Growth
6. Contribution
All of these needs can be met by destructive, neutral, or constructive means. Most people can easily see how activities like playing sports or having a hobby can be a constructive way to meet our needs. However, it is not always obvious that something destructive like smoking, or joining a street gang can also meet our needs at a very deep level.
Here are a few examples of potential “vehicles” with which to meet various needs.
Certainty/Comfort needs can be met with...
Uncertainty/Variety needs can be met with...
Significance needs can be met with...
Connection/Love needs can be met with...
Robbins states that any vehicle meeting three or more needs can be an addiction. If you review your own experience in the Buddha Field, chances are good you will find that it met all of your needs at a high level.
Furthermore, most people have one need that is their most important need, and as long as that need is being met, other areas of their life can suffer. For example, if your primary need is for Connection/Love, you can be in an abusive relationship and not leave because your need to connect is greater than your need for certainty (safety and security). As long as your need for connection is being met you are likely to stay in that relationship. History is replete with religious groups committing all kinds of atrocities in the name of God (the Crusades, the Spanish Inquisition, the Salem Witch Trials, etc.). In recent history the followers of Jim Jones, David Koresh, and Marshall Applewhite ended up dying or committing suicide. The members of these groups were all meeting their needs.
So how did the Buddha Field meet our needs?
Connection and Love was almost a given in the Buddha Field. You had a large extended family of people who you connected with every week on a psychologically intimate level. And you had a group that you could hang out with no matter how screwed up you were. Your past, however dark or terrible, was seen as part of your karma or path of growth or evolution, and forgiven. Many of us also developed close friendships and romantic relationships with other members in the group. Any religious leader (regardless of their authenticity) can also help us meet our need for spiritual connection, and Angelo was no exception.
If significance is your driving need, that was also easily met in the Buddha Field. It was a pretty exclusive group. It was secret. You had to be invited. There were seemingly endless opportunities for layers of meetings, service, experiences, and “techniques” that not everyone was privy to. Entire books have been written about the “spiritual ego.”
For people who valued certainty, this was also the place to be. You didn’t have to worry about figuring out things on your own. You simply asked for guidance. What to wear, what to eat, your career path, where to work, where to live, and what to do every day of the week could potentially all be decided for you. There was a pretty set schedule of things in the Buddha Field: Monday night Satsang. Tuesday night meditation at x's house, Wednesday night Fruit Night at yoga, Thursday night class, Friday was garden service, Saturday was additional service, and Sunday was movies or an outing. And unless there were special circumstances that schedule changed slowly or rarely. On some level it felt safe to be a part of the group. Even our weekly meetings had a certain format that pretty much stayed the same. Thursday night class, with precious rare exceptions, followed this format:
1. Enter room
2. Find or fight for place to sit
3. Meditate or at least pretend to
4. Cough up flower money
5. Share open eye meditation with Angelo
6. Participate in the guided “visualization” (or fall asleep)
7. Take the “hot seat” or watch
8. Participate (or avoid participating) in the group exercise
9. Sing
10. Meditate
11. Follow Angelo out to his car
12. Go home and meditate some more
13. Get three hours of sleep before you had to get up and go to work
For those of us who valued uncertainty or variety, we hit the jackpot with the Buddha Field. Even though things followed a certain format, what happened within that format, or what Angelo would do or have us do was hugely unpredictable. He was charismatic, he was funny. You never knew what someone was going to say that would have the entire group completely in stitches. In one evening you could experience the entire gamut of human emotion from anger, frustration, and depression, to joy, bliss, and ecstasy. Would you be called on to bare your deepest secret in front of the entire group? Role play a terrorist? End up Kissing someone? Get your ribs kicked in? Sing a song solo in front of the group? Play “Fruit Salad,” "Karma Wash, "I'm Wearning Jeans," or some other game? Would you receive shakti that night? Take a field trip? You never knew what to expect! And of course, you never knew when we would need to change locations.
If personal growth was your primary need, that could also be met in the group. After all, it was a “Mystery School.” It was meant for learning. And I think we all learned a great deal about ourselves and human consciousness. Meditation is a tool for self awareness that has been used for centuries. Every week there were many opportunities to grow and expand yourself on a number of levels.
Contribution was also easily met in the “Buddha Field.” Actually, it was built in as one of the pillars of “Meditation, Devotion, and Service.” We were all expected to “do service” and there were countless opportunities to take on all kinds of things. You could organize, schedule, oversee, cook, clean, build things, or tear things down. You could volunteer your time or talent. You could help individual people, groups of people, businesses, buildings, animals, birds, fish, entire gardens, single plants, or pretty much anything you can think of that was related to the group. Angelo himself was a virtual bottomless pit of wants and desires that could be serviced.
In light of all of our needs being met, it was very easy to excuse, rationalize, or justify anything going on that did not seem “right” or congruent. Of course, a lot of people were not aware of the really big problems. That is why it was difficult for so many people to leave.
I hope that in reading this it helps you find understanding, compassion, forgiveness, and healing.
Peace.
Ivan (all posts from Ivan)
Intelligence, experience, age, upbringing, life circumstance, and beliefs are only some of the variables that could influence one’s choices. However, the simple answer to this question is that the “Buddha Field” experience met our needs.
We all have different desires, but they are driven by the exact same human needs. When people achieve a goal only to ask “Is this all there is?” it is because they never analyzed their true needs or how to meet them. Understanding the Six Human Needs can not only help you find out what drives you, but also to be truly fulfilled on a consistent basis.
It is easy to look back on an experience with a new awareness and see what was “wrong.” Rather than do that, I think it may be useful to look at the Buddha Field through the filter of how it met our needs. Doing so may give you some perspective that can be helpful with healing, letting go, or forgiving.
Every need has vehicles (or strategies) for how they are met. These vehicles can be empowering to our lives, or they may be fulfilling for the moment but in the long run are quite destructive. The vehicles you select will determine not only your fulfillment in the moment, but also your long-term fulfillment and whether you will truly grow and contribute in a significant way
There are several human needs models, including those used by Maslow, Jung, and more recently, Marshall Rosenberg, author of the Nonviolent Communication programs. Another recent model comes from Anthony Robbins. Robbins identifies six human needs, grouped into two categories: the “Four Fundemental Needs,” and the “Two Primary and Essential Needs.” He says that all of these needs must be met for us to experience ultimate fulfillment.
Fundamental Needs:
1. Certainty/Comfort
2. Uncertainty/Variety
3. Significance
4. Connection/Love
Primary and Essential Needs
5. Growth
6. Contribution
You can rate, from zero to ten, how much a particular need is being met, where zero is “not at all” and ten is “completely.” If you think about anything that you really enjoy doing, it will not only meet all of your needs, but it will also meet them at a high level, usually a six, seven, or higher.
If there is something that you do not like to do, it is either not meeting all of your needs, or it is meeting them at a very low level (ones, twos, or threes).
These six needs can be further distinguished as follows:
1. Certainty/Comfort
- The ability to produce, eliminate or avoid stress or pain
- The ability to create, increase, or intensify pleasure
- The ability to be comfortable
- Safety / Security / Survival
2. Uncertainty/Variety
- Surprise
- Diversity
- Difference
- Challenge (stimulation of uncertainty is often required for growth)
- Excitement (variety is the spice of life)
- Celebration
- Play / Creativity
3. Significance
- A sense of being needed and wanted
- Feeling of importance
- Sense of purpose
- Uniqueness
- Sense of meaning (often, separation is one of the ways of doing this)
4. Connection/Love
- Bonding
- Oneness
- Sharing
- Intimacy
- Feeling a Part of
- At one with
5. Growth
- Everything is either growing or dying. We need to constantly develop emotionally, intellectually, and spiritually.
6. Contribution
- We all desire to go beyond our own needs and give to others. Everything in the universe contributes beyond itself, or it is eliminated.
All of these needs can be met by destructive, neutral, or constructive means. Most people can easily see how activities like playing sports or having a hobby can be a constructive way to meet our needs. However, it is not always obvious that something destructive like smoking, or joining a street gang can also meet our needs at a very deep level.
Here are a few examples of potential “vehicles” with which to meet various needs.
Certainty/Comfort needs can be met with...
- Control
- Consistency
- Food
- Learned helplessness
- Negative identity
- Completion
- Identity
- Faith
- Belief in guidance
- Having a routine or set schedule
Uncertainty/Variety needs can be met with...
- Alcohol
- Drugs
- Food
- “Sabotage” / pick a fight, etc.
- New Relationship
- New job
- New location
- Stimulating conversation
- Taking on new challenges
- Learning
- Changing your focus
Significance needs can be met with...
- Tearing down others
- Violence – possibly the fastest and easiest way to create significance (even with complete strangers)
- Negative identity: Disease/Disorder, etc.
- Material possessions
- Academic degrees
- Accomplishments
- Style
- Development of new skills and knowledge
- Growing levels of caring or extraordinary compassion
- Scarcity (scarcity is often used as a criteria for creating a feeling of uniqueness or importance)
Connection/Love needs can be met with...
- Sympathy through sickness/injury
- Commit a negative act (crime, do drugs, smoking)
- Gangs
- Attempting to get others to comply with your requests (evidence of acceptance)
- Relationships (family, friends, intimate)
- Spirituality
- Being in natural surrounding (“in nature”)
- Pets
- Self-sacrifice
- Sex
- Joining a team/club
- Beauty
- Art
Robbins states that any vehicle meeting three or more needs can be an addiction. If you review your own experience in the Buddha Field, chances are good you will find that it met all of your needs at a high level.
Furthermore, most people have one need that is their most important need, and as long as that need is being met, other areas of their life can suffer. For example, if your primary need is for Connection/Love, you can be in an abusive relationship and not leave because your need to connect is greater than your need for certainty (safety and security). As long as your need for connection is being met you are likely to stay in that relationship. History is replete with religious groups committing all kinds of atrocities in the name of God (the Crusades, the Spanish Inquisition, the Salem Witch Trials, etc.). In recent history the followers of Jim Jones, David Koresh, and Marshall Applewhite ended up dying or committing suicide. The members of these groups were all meeting their needs.
So how did the Buddha Field meet our needs?
Connection and Love was almost a given in the Buddha Field. You had a large extended family of people who you connected with every week on a psychologically intimate level. And you had a group that you could hang out with no matter how screwed up you were. Your past, however dark or terrible, was seen as part of your karma or path of growth or evolution, and forgiven. Many of us also developed close friendships and romantic relationships with other members in the group. Any religious leader (regardless of their authenticity) can also help us meet our need for spiritual connection, and Angelo was no exception.
If significance is your driving need, that was also easily met in the Buddha Field. It was a pretty exclusive group. It was secret. You had to be invited. There were seemingly endless opportunities for layers of meetings, service, experiences, and “techniques” that not everyone was privy to. Entire books have been written about the “spiritual ego.”
For people who valued certainty, this was also the place to be. You didn’t have to worry about figuring out things on your own. You simply asked for guidance. What to wear, what to eat, your career path, where to work, where to live, and what to do every day of the week could potentially all be decided for you. There was a pretty set schedule of things in the Buddha Field: Monday night Satsang. Tuesday night meditation at x's house, Wednesday night Fruit Night at yoga, Thursday night class, Friday was garden service, Saturday was additional service, and Sunday was movies or an outing. And unless there were special circumstances that schedule changed slowly or rarely. On some level it felt safe to be a part of the group. Even our weekly meetings had a certain format that pretty much stayed the same. Thursday night class, with precious rare exceptions, followed this format:
1. Enter room
2. Find or fight for place to sit
3. Meditate or at least pretend to
4. Cough up flower money
5. Share open eye meditation with Angelo
6. Participate in the guided “visualization” (or fall asleep)
7. Take the “hot seat” or watch
8. Participate (or avoid participating) in the group exercise
9. Sing
10. Meditate
11. Follow Angelo out to his car
12. Go home and meditate some more
13. Get three hours of sleep before you had to get up and go to work
For those of us who valued uncertainty or variety, we hit the jackpot with the Buddha Field. Even though things followed a certain format, what happened within that format, or what Angelo would do or have us do was hugely unpredictable. He was charismatic, he was funny. You never knew what someone was going to say that would have the entire group completely in stitches. In one evening you could experience the entire gamut of human emotion from anger, frustration, and depression, to joy, bliss, and ecstasy. Would you be called on to bare your deepest secret in front of the entire group? Role play a terrorist? End up Kissing someone? Get your ribs kicked in? Sing a song solo in front of the group? Play “Fruit Salad,” "Karma Wash, "I'm Wearning Jeans," or some other game? Would you receive shakti that night? Take a field trip? You never knew what to expect! And of course, you never knew when we would need to change locations.
If personal growth was your primary need, that could also be met in the group. After all, it was a “Mystery School.” It was meant for learning. And I think we all learned a great deal about ourselves and human consciousness. Meditation is a tool for self awareness that has been used for centuries. Every week there were many opportunities to grow and expand yourself on a number of levels.
Contribution was also easily met in the “Buddha Field.” Actually, it was built in as one of the pillars of “Meditation, Devotion, and Service.” We were all expected to “do service” and there were countless opportunities to take on all kinds of things. You could organize, schedule, oversee, cook, clean, build things, or tear things down. You could volunteer your time or talent. You could help individual people, groups of people, businesses, buildings, animals, birds, fish, entire gardens, single plants, or pretty much anything you can think of that was related to the group. Angelo himself was a virtual bottomless pit of wants and desires that could be serviced.
In light of all of our needs being met, it was very easy to excuse, rationalize, or justify anything going on that did not seem “right” or congruent. Of course, a lot of people were not aware of the really big problems. That is why it was difficult for so many people to leave.
I hope that in reading this it helps you find understanding, compassion, forgiveness, and healing.
Peace.
Ivan (all posts from Ivan)
