Tower: 9. My/Our Opinions

In this Mystery School, it was not acceptable to have your own opinions. Out of respect and love for Angelo, we were supposed to share his opinions about things. We were supposed to realize that his opinions were coming from a much more clear place and if your opinion was different, then you should at least adopt his opinion in hopes that that might get you closer to God (where His opinions come from). The following was what we were expected to feel about certain things:

• Eating: Something the body needed to do to survive and you were supposed to eat for the function of the body. You were supposed to eat healthy foods in proper amounts. And if you were in meditation you WOULD be eating healthily naturally.
• Sleeping: Something that you only had to do if you were of a lower energy. Even when we were sleeping we were supposed to be meditating. If you connected to meditation, that was supposed to be better than sleep. Angelo supposedly didn’t sleep like normal people. I remember being told when I frist came around that he had to have somebody there at night to make sure he didn’t leave his body (die) when he was asleep. There were always these tales I would hear about his sleeping. He would never sleep. He would sleep for an hour a night. Even though every time I saw him try to watch a movie, he’d fall asleep in his chair. And sometimes in cleansing he’d fall asleep when I was talking to him. But evidently at night, he couldn’t fall asleep. And then one time, I heard that there were these ants that would come and be eating his head at night (or eating his dandruff or something) and I thought that if he’s not sleeping doesn’t he notice that these ants are eating his head? It’s weird… there were conflicting stories. But it was definitely presented that more evolved you are, the less sleep you need.
• Marriage: Something for those who had sold out. Marriage is a contract between two people who are living in fear that they are going to lose the love they have. Children are karma. Angelo said he doesn’t even see a baby. He sees a huge mountain of karma waitng for people to interact. Children were definitely seen as a distration. I know several people were told to give up custody of their kids… and some did… which I was grateful for. I feel like if a parent gives up custody of their child because of something they want to pursue for themselves, then they shouldn’t be raising a child anyway. But raising a child was definitely viewed as ‘not the highest.’ No one in the group ever gave birth in the whole time the group was together. I know some people got pregnant. They weren’t obstaining or anything. But their guidance was always to get rid of it.
• Parents: They were the reason that we are all so screwed up. But we should look at them with compassoin because they knew no better. Your poor, stupid, dead, deluded parents could never understand what you’re going through and the choices you’re making, so don’t share it with them.
• Animals: Birds were evidently high beings that were much like people (because a lot of people had birds, including an aviary at Angelo’s house) But animals with fur were really discouraged. And he told several people . Some didn’t and I was really tickled when that happened. He always forbid Xena from having cats… and cats, especially kittens, make Xena happy in a way that few things can. She’s like a little girl playing with a doll with kittens. But even though cats were forbidden and “low,” she usually had one around… even if it was the neighbors cats that she pulled into her yard to pet for a while. Angelo used to tell her that his body was too sensitive and that if she was going to play with cats she couldn’t be around him so much because it threw his energy off. Even that threat didn’t work long on her though. I’m not sure about pets beyond that… because he had a kuala, and a kangaroo and some exotic chickens. He had some neat animals but I think it was more a prop he could pose with rather than being his pets. I think we were his pets.
• Other races: I don’t think he was a racist. He told a lot of black jokes, he made fun of jews a lot… he made fun of everyone and everything so I don’t think that it was directed at their race specifically. Although it could have been. It was weird that we didn’t have any black people in the group. But I don’t think anyone thought he seriously had issues with other races or the jokes wouldn’t have been funny. To me anyway. I remember being secretly delighted when he would make fun of the Jews in the room (since Salila, Leitch and Verthlessa are Jewish). But some point a number of years ago, I discovered that some people actually THINK those things… that it’s not just jokes to some people. So they became a lot less funny to me.
• Other religions and spiritual groups: These were always seen to be missing the point. It was always stressed that Angelo is the only one doing what he’s doing. If there are other masters, he didn’t know about them. He was less threatened by dead masters. Like, he’d talk about Osho sometimes, but we weren’t supposed to read Osho. Occassionally, he’d talk about how beautiful some of the dead masters were… and that they’d come to him and talk to him in his room and stuff.. but anybody that was alive… no, they were obviously a charlatan. And nobody was as high as he was (even if they really a master).
• Sex/relationships: The view of sex changed over the years. When I first came around, sex was considered low, that you were here to transcend things like that. And they (Angelo and the older disciples) played it off as if no one was having sex or in relationships. Even though I could look around in my first week in the group and see couples. But you are constantly told that what you think you see, you did not really see. And everyone would swear to it. So you’d have to shut up and be OK with it. To me, it was CLEARLY what was going on, they just weren’t calling it that.
• But then something changed and suddenly relationships were acknoledged and if it was with someone inside the group it was actually a beautiful tool to help you come to God (relationships outside the group were always discouraged). The same with sex. Suddenly it was said that sex between two people experiencing God was beautiful and profound, but sex from that animal lust place was low. It was never indicated publicly that he had sex. He always talked about having transcended it (implying that he didn’t need to have it anymore). He said an orgasm to him was basically like a sneeze compared to the direct experience of God.
• About Angelo: We were supposed to feel that he was egoless. The master of his thoughts. He didn’t have thoughts, he had awareness (because thoughts are bad). He was enlightened. He has no karma. If anything bad happened, it was because he was taking on the karma of others. He had special powers, including that he was psychic and he could know what people were up to and what they were thinking or intending. He could give shakti and reveal the Knowing. Basically we were supposed to think that he was God Incarnate. It was said that way. It was said that everyone was God, but we were to consider him a special person that not everyone was.
• Charity: This was for people that were overcompensating. For people that had somehow been trained that doing nice for others was a positive thing. So, they were doing it for their own ego rather than from a place of love.
• Education/school: Being knowledgeable, smart, informed, or having any knowledge outside of the direct experience of god was a waste. Nobody was encouraged to educate themselves at all. It was better that you be stupid. He actually said that many times. “Less intelligent people have a much easier time coming to God than intelligent people.” Which I’m sure is the case around him.
• Excelling in business: I got conflicting messages with this. If he could see a way that he could benefit from it… then people would be guided to go ahead with it. But, if it wouldn’t really affect him directly, then he’d be more likely to want them to continue whatever they were doing (and not risk rocking the boat). He had several people that were cleaning houses and being janitors and stuff… and when they’d want to do something different, he’d tell them, “No. You have to be who you are because you’ve created this situation. And don’t try and run from it. Just get everything out of it that there is to get. And I see there are still lessons in this for you.”
• Talent/ability: If something could help the group, then it was OK. For instance, writing in general would have been frowned upon. But since I was in the writer’s group and using it for service, it was an asset. Who cares if you’re a good cook. The only benefit of that would be if you used that to cook his meals for him (of course there were people that prepared all his meals for him). So that was situational.