Angeles Ariens
Angeles Ariens also talks of the psychology of the teacher/student relationship, although she uses archetypal metaphors to describe the relationship. She has studied the relationship cross culturally and talks of the role of the teacher as an important part of the wisdom transmission of the cultures. She described the relationship between student and teacher as an important “ crucible of learning”. The crucible, she said, should be one of mutual recognition and equity that also embodies the qualities of respect, honesty, vulnerability, curiosity, openness and trust. This, she contends, allows the intimacy of the relationship to foster the best possible growth. She describes the relationship as a “mandorla”, that is, the transpersonal ‘between’ that is created when two people come together in a way that allows them both to go beyond perception, projections and transference. The self worth in the student needs to be stronger than the self-critic for work to be possible.
I think it is imperative that a teacher recognize when the student needs the developmental work of ego strengthening in order to be able to integrate the teachings into their lives in a practical way. The old cliché, ‘you need to have an ego to lose an ego’, has a lot of wisdom to it. When a person has not the inner strength of a well-grounded psyche, and embarks on spiritual work, there is a tendency towards spiritual bypassing. I see spiritual work as a psycho/spiritual continuum, and it is very important that there is a healthy ego structure that can support the deconstruction of the false ego self without further defensive splitting taking place. Ariens talks of the importance of walking the “ mystical path with practical feet.”
Ariens also talks about the four taboos that are found cross culturally and their corresponding values. Because spiritual work involves leaving behind what is comfortable and familiar, adherence to these taboos are imperative in order to maintain a relationship of trust and safety. The taboos are against murder, stealing, lying and incest. Their corresponding values are of valuing the gift of life, respecting what people have created for themselves, respecting integrity and authenticity, and respecting emotionally bonded kinship ties. Work with spiritual teachers, she said, should be life affirming.
Work should ideally be engaged with the student who does not idealize the teacher, as idealization constricts the energy. It is best engaged in a spirit of awe, curiosity, innocence, humility and wonder with an allowing for the primordial terrors that often surface as part of the process. Work should be able to contain the student’s feelings of being stuck, resistant, righteous, struggling over power and their judgments, with the recognition that they are part of the process.
Ariens also mentioned the clarity that is necessary in order to recognize when it is time to leave the teacher. A good teacher never creates dependency, as the teaching should be about freedom. When students are ready to be individuated away from the teacher, they should be able to reflect upon the teachings with gratitude, track their growth through the process, have awareness of the places they had been most challenged, and make reparations to themselves and others for anything that still needs to be mended.
I think it is imperative that a teacher recognize when the student needs the developmental work of ego strengthening in order to be able to integrate the teachings into their lives in a practical way. The old cliché, ‘you need to have an ego to lose an ego’, has a lot of wisdom to it. When a person has not the inner strength of a well-grounded psyche, and embarks on spiritual work, there is a tendency towards spiritual bypassing. I see spiritual work as a psycho/spiritual continuum, and it is very important that there is a healthy ego structure that can support the deconstruction of the false ego self without further defensive splitting taking place. Ariens talks of the importance of walking the “ mystical path with practical feet.”
Ariens also talks about the four taboos that are found cross culturally and their corresponding values. Because spiritual work involves leaving behind what is comfortable and familiar, adherence to these taboos are imperative in order to maintain a relationship of trust and safety. The taboos are against murder, stealing, lying and incest. Their corresponding values are of valuing the gift of life, respecting what people have created for themselves, respecting integrity and authenticity, and respecting emotionally bonded kinship ties. Work with spiritual teachers, she said, should be life affirming.
Work should ideally be engaged with the student who does not idealize the teacher, as idealization constricts the energy. It is best engaged in a spirit of awe, curiosity, innocence, humility and wonder with an allowing for the primordial terrors that often surface as part of the process. Work should be able to contain the student’s feelings of being stuck, resistant, righteous, struggling over power and their judgments, with the recognition that they are part of the process.
Ariens also mentioned the clarity that is necessary in order to recognize when it is time to leave the teacher. A good teacher never creates dependency, as the teaching should be about freedom. When students are ready to be individuated away from the teacher, they should be able to reflect upon the teachings with gratitude, track their growth through the process, have awareness of the places they had been most challenged, and make reparations to themselves and others for anything that still needs to be mended.
