John Welwood
When John Welwood, the psychologist, speaks of the psychology of the teacher/student relationship, his most salient point is that the whole of the success and validity of the relationship depends on who the teachers and who the students are, and on what each of them is willing to bring into the relationship. He notes that the difficulty in the West for such a paradigm is compounded by the fact that we are encouraged to be highly individualistic, and we do not have a paradigm for systems of authority that we trust. Besides authority figures who are not to be trusted, very often we have had spiritual leaders who are distant and disconnected from our lives, if not downright abusive. Therefore, as Westerners, if we decide to accept a teacher or guru to lead us along a spiritual path, we are inclined to initiate that relationship from a guarded position.
Welwood talks of the role of a good spiritual teacher or guru as that of a clear mirror, that should hold up and reflect the true nature of Awareness. Looking into a clear mirror, the student should be able to see his Essential Self. As Welwood so eloquently said, our egos live in a samsaric mind of constriction, limitation, inflation and pain, but our souls, crave the freedom of the awake mind.
It is the love for the guru and the freedom that he/she represents, that triggers the unfolding of the spiritual journey. Welwood characterizes that love as being one of openness and warmth. These characteristics are important as the student undergoes the onslaught to the ego that is the work of the spiritual journey. Initially in the journey, the neurosis of the ego is heightened. This is important because the ego needs to be seen, in order to be purified. In these moments we see the worst aspects of ourselves. We see the places that are closed to love and those that crave it. We see the nature of our defenses that arose due to our early wounding. And it is the unconditional loving of the guru that allows us to be truly seen, and that enables us to. As Welwood sees it, this relationship is much like the therapeutic relationship, and provides recompense for the inadequacies of our primary relationships as young children with our early caregivers. As this neurosis is allowed to come to light, and hopefully be released, there arises what the Tibetan Guru Chogyum Trungpa called, “co-emergent wisdom”. The soul needs unconditional love in order to unfold. The teacher, in Welwood’s words, “melts us because of the possibility of openness.”
Of course one of the difficulties we experience in the student/teacher relationship is that we project onto the teacher the parent or authority figure that was responsible for our early wounding. Some of the ways we do that are by trying to please or seduce them, or by rebelling against them. We do this because we don’t believe that we are lovable just as we are. If this is the case we try to be more of what we think we should be. Initially we may project the good parent on them, and if they disappoint us, we see them as manipulative or abusive. Of course there is a chance that they are, but it is the characteristic of the judging mind that engages in splitting defenses. Welwood notes that the mind that judges is constantly flipping between what it likes and does not like.
This prevents a person from truly being present to reality.
Another issue that may arise is the confusion between submission to a teacher and surrender to a teaching. Submission, Welwood says, is the response of an ego that feels a lack of self-worth. It operates from a place of weakness and fear, and depends on the teacher for its sense of self worth. Surrender on the other hand, involves allowing oneself to be really seen with all the frailties of being human. Spiritual teachers are meant to represent the Absolute Truth. It is said that they take on the karma of the students, and by extension the world, which is a tremendous responsibility. Of course it is important to be aware of the fact, as Welwood points out, that it is the student who grants permission for the teacher to act as an authority on their behalf. Naturally it is hoped that the student has a strong enough sense of self to be aware of what it is that they want in a teacher. This is not always the case however, and I shall discuss a little further on the pitfalls and problems which can arise if the sense of self is deficient or compromised.
Welwood talks of the role of a good spiritual teacher or guru as that of a clear mirror, that should hold up and reflect the true nature of Awareness. Looking into a clear mirror, the student should be able to see his Essential Self. As Welwood so eloquently said, our egos live in a samsaric mind of constriction, limitation, inflation and pain, but our souls, crave the freedom of the awake mind.
It is the love for the guru and the freedom that he/she represents, that triggers the unfolding of the spiritual journey. Welwood characterizes that love as being one of openness and warmth. These characteristics are important as the student undergoes the onslaught to the ego that is the work of the spiritual journey. Initially in the journey, the neurosis of the ego is heightened. This is important because the ego needs to be seen, in order to be purified. In these moments we see the worst aspects of ourselves. We see the places that are closed to love and those that crave it. We see the nature of our defenses that arose due to our early wounding. And it is the unconditional loving of the guru that allows us to be truly seen, and that enables us to. As Welwood sees it, this relationship is much like the therapeutic relationship, and provides recompense for the inadequacies of our primary relationships as young children with our early caregivers. As this neurosis is allowed to come to light, and hopefully be released, there arises what the Tibetan Guru Chogyum Trungpa called, “co-emergent wisdom”. The soul needs unconditional love in order to unfold. The teacher, in Welwood’s words, “melts us because of the possibility of openness.”
Of course one of the difficulties we experience in the student/teacher relationship is that we project onto the teacher the parent or authority figure that was responsible for our early wounding. Some of the ways we do that are by trying to please or seduce them, or by rebelling against them. We do this because we don’t believe that we are lovable just as we are. If this is the case we try to be more of what we think we should be. Initially we may project the good parent on them, and if they disappoint us, we see them as manipulative or abusive. Of course there is a chance that they are, but it is the characteristic of the judging mind that engages in splitting defenses. Welwood notes that the mind that judges is constantly flipping between what it likes and does not like.
This prevents a person from truly being present to reality.
Another issue that may arise is the confusion between submission to a teacher and surrender to a teaching. Submission, Welwood says, is the response of an ego that feels a lack of self-worth. It operates from a place of weakness and fear, and depends on the teacher for its sense of self worth. Surrender on the other hand, involves allowing oneself to be really seen with all the frailties of being human. Spiritual teachers are meant to represent the Absolute Truth. It is said that they take on the karma of the students, and by extension the world, which is a tremendous responsibility. Of course it is important to be aware of the fact, as Welwood points out, that it is the student who grants permission for the teacher to act as an authority on their behalf. Naturally it is hoped that the student has a strong enough sense of self to be aware of what it is that they want in a teacher. This is not always the case however, and I shall discuss a little further on the pitfalls and problems which can arise if the sense of self is deficient or compromised.
