Every Cloud Has a Silver Lining

I received another email that is an open letter to all of you from a sister that went her own way years ago:

It's been a while since I've been in communication with any of you. I hope you are very well, I am. I'm very glad you created this site, I think open, honest communication of any kind is essential. And, just recently I was inspired to write a letter of love to all.... do with it what you would like. It's just an expression for all of you:
I am writing this because I have loved so dearly my sisters and brothers which I had lived with for nearly 18 years. I have been out of the dream of the Buddha Field for longer than most -- as I was the BF’s original’ anti-christ’, (at least post 9/11) and sent away to become the light of New York City some 6 years ago.

Through the days prior to my ‘excommunication’, all 700 and something of them, I had never felt so alone and misunderstood. I had no one to give me a gentle hand, to help me understand that what I was feeling was very natural, actually crucial, to my own spiritual survival. I was finally waking up to the love I had so desperately sought to know, in all it’s simplicity -- it was so painfully obvious, this beautiful nudging was dragging me back to my Self. Finally my heart grew its own voice and became stronger than any other voice I had learned to trust at the time. When my teachings on that path of discernment were complete, life got me the hell out of there. Although a harsh lesson indeed, it was paramount to lead me to true compassion and true forgiveness. I mean, if being betrayed by the man who you devoted your entire adult life to in the name of becoming enlightened isn’t great practice to see "All is God", I don’t know what is.

It has taken several years to undo the thoughts that my very split mind had clung to in the name of both Love and Fear. It was all too easy to blame everything on something, in our case the “mind” was to blame for everything. It was natural for one part of the split mind to judge another part creating even more shame and hatred, so it made sense on one level. But it certainly didn’t make sense once I came to the point where I was ready to end all duality and had to take responsibility for the “Mind”, that I was part of, as well. But that was the lesson I chose to learn. Since then I’ve come to know a deeper reason for duality, if nothing else, it always leads me back to practice forgiveness. Practicing true forgiveness from a perspective of innocence has helped me heal more than all of the “meditation” I had practiced in all of these years. And hey, everyone can do it, not just a few special, more highly evolved souls. I still meditate, but it’s the meditation that I chose is best for me, and has nothing to do with any techniques, especially the “non-technique” techniques that were given by Angelo. Although there is absolutely nothing wrong with them if they work for you far out, I just prefer my own personal way to commune with the Creator. And not so ironically enough, the very books and teachings that were absolutely ridiculed and demonized back then, are exactly the ones that have offered me the greatest healing and all encompassing understanding of the purpose of life. Check out “The Disappearance of the Universe”, I’ve found it to be radically pure, and really offer something that nothing or no one else has been able to do.

I’m sure there will be ideas still to unravel within the BF context, but I will say this, True Love cannot be reversed. I know this now to be an unchangeable fact, love has given me the opportunity to be tried and tested, and all these years later, I still love. And it’s more evident than ever, the love I feel now, I brought with me all those years ago to the BF so innocently, so totally. And I feel blessed to have known all of you in your innocence as I know it is still there in you just as completely as it ever was, even though it may not feel like it sometimes. In this crazy world of illusion, we are more beautiful than we can even fathom. I wish to see you as you truly are, and I wish to be seen the same. And in that my dear brothers and sisters, I truly love you. And though I never thought I’d ever say it again, namaste ……. truly we are one, and I’m actually proud to say that.