Denomio: 14. Don't Demystify the Master

Cleansing was different than other kinds of therapies I’ve had. My understanding of the purpose of cleansing was that we were resolving the patterns that were locked in our psychology from early childhood (and sometimes from prior lives) by dropping into a hypnotic state and redoing the events. But basically, real therapy involves a lot of listening. Cleansing felt more like Angelo guiding you to the conclusion he thought was the answer. Other therapies didn’t seem like they were trying to convince you of what your actions should be, or what you should feel, or what you should do. I probably had cleansing once a month for two years with Angelo. I also saw Frolic for cleansing for a couple of years. And I guess it was similar, only Frolic seemed more like a hypnotist where he would actually guide you… 10… going down the stairs… 9… deeper relaxed… He would guide you into it. Where Angelo didn’t seem to think that was necessary. He’d say, “We’re going down the steps, 10,9,8,…” and you were supposed to just be there. And Frolic again was not quite so trying to guide you to a specific outcome. There was less of a, “Do you see this?” or “Do you see that?” He seemed more receptive than guiding.

Angelo certainly wanted people to be as dependent on him as possible. To view him as their all-in-all. As the key to their happiness and liberation. And I did to a certain extent. But it wasn’t because he was playing the role of my therapist. He was playing the role of my guru. That was his job description as far as most people were concerned. He was the key to liberation and we should worship and be devoted to him. And the psychology part of it was just because he was a hip, modern master so we were also getting that along with our spiritual work.

I was in the room with Angelo when he would get reports on people. All sorts of reports, on everyone, all the time. If there was any thought that someone wasn’t toeing the company line then it’s a cause for concern and should be reported for Angelo, so he could do his work behind the scenes and save them. There were lists… all kind of lists… who went to Satsang, who didn’t, where they went… but you had to be in one of the inner circles to know about them. I just stumbled on it and when I did I was sworn to secrecy – because that was one of the things I heard him say a number of times… “Don’t demystify the master.”

There were a couple of different “inner circles.” There were the people that lived in the house with him. They were probably the innermost inner circle. But right outside that, there was me, Malario, Xena, Simone (although he later lived there as well) and Tiger. And then there was a layer of people that were going on the daily outings and basically had an all-access ticket. I could go to the gym or on an outing. I might not participate in something all the time but if I wanted to, I had carte-blanche. And then there were the “Ma’s”, that seemed to be a part of an inner group but in a different way: Verthlessa, Mirra, No-One, Hisminia.